In light of the bullying that's going on in our schools, please parents – listen to your child(ren). If your think your child is being bullied, take action. Bullying signs parents should look for are …
In light of the bullying that's going on in our schools, please parents – listen to your child(ren). If your think your child is being bullied, take action. Bullying signs parents should look for are …
The heartbreaking story of Phoebe Prince
should be a case study, taught to every parent
before their child can enter a public or private school.
It should include an aggressive prosecution of the vicious little
animals who bullied her, the fools who raised them, and the
apathetic school officials who have taken more action to cover
their own tracks, than they did to help this poor girl.
http://is.gd/bhsgk
Bruises and injuries that your child refuses to explain.
Unexplained crying spells before or after school.
Withdrawl and secretiveness in excess of what is normal for children of that age.
Rapidly dropping grades, missing homework, damaged homework, textbooks, or equipment.
School supplies going missing constantly, with no explanation.
Loss of appetite, refusal to eat, and preoccupation with ones appearance.
There are probably more that I’m missing, but those are the big ones I remember.
… your child is still inhaling.
Parents should just assume that sooner or later their child is going to get bullied.
A child that is bullied will try to avoid being where ever the bullying takes place and/or reproduce the bullying behavior. They will “get sick”
or appear “shy” more than usual and/or they will criticize or pick on other kids (they might even do damaging things to themselves). It can be a simple as saying “you are (I am) so stupid” or it could mean physical violence.
The key is not to wait for the worst to happen to teach them that they are special and valuable and no one can do or say anything that can make them any less. The best way to teach them is to show them.
When a child SEES the adults in their lives show compassion and tolerance to people who are different from themselves they KNOW there is nothing that would every cause them to lose the love of those adults and the child becomes resilient.
Some signs of bullying:
Avoiding school and mentions of school. Which often can be taken as just a child being willful or wanting to slack and be lazy. Also, a child who is sick a lot without actually being diagnosed as having any virus or bacterial infections.
It may seem obvious, but there are a lot of people who really think that a child who throws fits about going to school, skips it as much as possible, or ‘fakes’ being sick and the like are JUST seeking attention in a Calvin & Hobbesian way, but in my own personal childhood, and in others I have seen, it’s a sign of a serious problem and a child who feels they have no way out and that no one listens, notices, or cares.
Another sign is personal appearance neglect- if a child or teen starts to become apathetic and Just Not Care about how clean they are or if their hair is combed or their clothing is in good condition (especially if they have in the past actually SHOWN signs of caring about hygiene, even if they never were interested in ‘normal fashion’ or the like) it could very well be a sign that they have given up on themselves. It can also carry over to general tidiness of their room or their willingness to do chores.
Energy level drops are another sign that comes to mind, and can be linked to the last one- a child or teen who doesn’t seem to want to go out and do anything, who sleeps a lot, or zones out and seems to have no motivation to do anything remotely challenging. It could be a sign that the child/teen/adult is suffering depression that is linked to social ill treatment as much as anything else.
withdrawing from friends and family, self-imposed isolation, mood swings, drop in grades, lack of interest in former areas of interest (including, but not limited to: sports, arts, pets), self-abuse, suicide attempts, weight loss, weight gain, sleep disturbances, sudden changes in styles of attire, lethargy, avoidance of school or other activities to the point of mal behaviors, constant illness (perceived or actual), attempts to run away, negative vocalization of future or present. Unfortunately, most of these symptoms are also aligned with “just growing up”. Communication and trust are key. Judgments have a time and place. When a child speaks, it helps to listen more than to speak. Thank you for posting this thought, Doc.
Self isolation.
Slipping Grades.
Just “Not being themselves.”
I read recently that kids talk to their friends about being bullied first, their parents second, and their teachers third. Listen to what the kids are saying. There is so much that we brush off as “kids being kids.” But when there is frequency in what kids are saying about being bullied, it is time for parents to step in. Parents need to be advocates for their kids, not enablers, but advocates.
Hi Bill. It is an amazing feeling to be able to communicate with you as you advocate against bullying! I am currently working for a company that is trying to take some action in some of the biggest issues that children today have to face, such as poor nutrition (they might eat more but with less healthy nutritional value); rather than health management they have to deal with disease management and we call it health care; exercise is practiced in the thumbs… you know, the finger needed to play the controls of the X-box and the wii; a pornographic based media that desensitizes a person’s psyche and exposes children in younger ages to a hyper-sexualized thinking, opening them up to be more vulnerable to things such as trafficking, promiscuity, etc; and this goes without mentioning the breakdown in nurturance with broken-down families or with absent parents due to the need for both parents to work. I know yet another product won’t do the trick in solving all these matters, but the products we are formulating are just steppingstones that will enable us to take more active and personalized roles in helping children, or enhancing those who already have a well developed life. I pray that I may be able to create some contact with people, like yourself Mr Cosby, that care to make a difference so that this little dream may become a reality. Children are worth it! The future is worth it! I would be nothing short than honoured, Mr. Cosby, to be able to spend just 15 minutes with you, that you may share some of your wisdom to spread some goodness throughout our world.
With my utmost respect;
FRIDA ABAROA
Frida@yumyumteam.com
Changes in behaviour such as a child who usually enjoys school repeatedly feeling “too sick” to go; or a generally talkative child becoming suddenly quiet more often, or a normally quiet child acting out more.
Other behaviors such as suddenly hanging around “the wrong crowd”, using drugs, or skipping school may be “escaping” the bullying situation.
Smart kids, who are common targets, may stop caring about grades.
Siblings near the same age can be a good source of information, and can also be sworn to secrecy. If you see changes in their relationships with each other, that could be a subtle sign.
a sudden unwillingness to go to school or frequent medical complaints among other things. If your child becomes withdrawn or anxious, find out what’s going on. They may not want to talk about it initially; be patient, supportive, and nurturing until they feel safe enough to confide in you.
The signs parents need to look for when their child is being bullied are:
Quietness around all family members
Reluctance to socialize with their peers
Reluctance to go to school
Sadly, sometimes there are no signs. Great marks, willing to go to school, still laughing. Another parent walking by the schoolyard happens to see it and it all comes to light. Look at their friends and how many children they hang with. In the schoolyard, the teacher comes around and says..is there a problem…the kids say “just playing”. The teacher walks on thinking ‘boys will be boys’ and it continues. Cirlcle kicking, name calling, shoving, holding them down on the ground. It wasn’t just playing and that’s how they got away with it at our school. It was several against 3, not just one being bullied. Maybe that’s why it continued for so long. Know your child and his/her friends. Know those friends parents. As a team, you look out for each other. Be approachable and pay attention. Help boost their confidence so they already think wonderful things about themselves and less likely to believe hurtful things others say. It can happen to any child in one form or another.
CHAMPIONS AGAINST BULLYING
Tips for Parents
Managing A Bullying Situation
Children rarely tell their parents that they are being bullied. Pay attention to the following signs and changes in behavior:
1. Continually finds excuses to stay home from school.
2. Returns home from school with cuts, scrapes and bruises.
3. Arrives home from school with damaged, torn or missing belongings.
4. Spends a lot of time alone and doesn’t socialize with others.
5. Experiences mood swings and a change in personality, such as low self-esteem, fearfulness, unusual anxiety and depression.
6. Seems afraid to go to school or ride the bus and feigns illness.
7. Has trouble sleeping and suffers nightmares.
8. Loses interest in school and suddenly his/her grades drop.
9. Sudden weight loss/gain.
10. Neglects his/her appearance.
Parents: Check out our free Parent Card – Tips for Parents
http://www.championsagainstbullying.com
We are here to help you. Please browse our website for resources, tools and techniques on everything related to bullying and deal with the rehabilitating the bully while empowering the target and the bystander. Our services include workshops for parents, educators and kids from pre-school to high school, Disney award-winning winning educational CD-ROM, private, group and phone coaching, mediating, assist schools to develop Safety Policies and Practices, along with a host of step by step guides. For more assistance, please email us: info@championsagainstbullying.com or call 310.993.8007.
My child is repeatedly coming home with scratches on his face by young monesters.whenever i go to complain, here is the exact scenario that Ivey:”he should tell an adult “and though sometimes he does this is what they just do, next day they tell Me , your child hit someone and they just know that he is so innocently defeating himself from a very aggressive child.they never tell the others seriously stop hurting him just because he is of different race and religion. Why didn’t they even asked him when his eyes was so red and bruised who did this to you ,how they don’t see that this is an obvious discrimination.